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The Good Sons 9/19/2021
Three brothers got together after they graduated from
college and reflected on how they were doing in life and
how they got there. They all agreed that it was mostly because
of their mother. She worked very hard to put them thru college
and made many sacrifices. They decided that it was time
to reward her for all her efforts. During the next year,
they would all make some attempt to make their ...
1 Comments, 312 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
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Asshole strecher 9/19/2021
A women was late for work and was driving somewhat over the
speed limit. Sure enough, just as she crossed a bridge she
saw a cop hiding there with his radar gun out. The cop pulled
her over and asked where she was going in such a hurry. She
said she was late for work. The cop said what do you do? She
said I am an asshole streacher. He asked How do you do that?
She said I start with ...
2 Comments, 456 Views,
22 Votes
,6.25 Score
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Some Jokes to lighten your day. 1/30/2019
The big bad wolf said: "I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll
blow your house down!" The little pig replies: "Fuck off or I'll sneeze on you!"
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I dont know and I dont care.
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his
mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with
Mary, her eight-year-old . ...
3 Comments, 211 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
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Adult Bookstore Salesman! 1/12/2019
It was the first day on the job for this young man at a local
adult bookstore. His boss had watched him work the register
and felt he was doing OK so he told him to mind the store while
he ran some errands. After the owner left, a very good looking woman entered
the store and went right past the books and videos to the
wall where all the toys were. She was picking up several
different dildos ...
3 Comments, 428 Views,
15 Votes
,6.19 Score
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CALL THE POLICE 7/21/2012
CALL THE POLICE Apr 1, 2008 1:19 am 222 Views It was late and I was not concentrating as I approached an
old friend who seems distressed. Concerned, I asked him
why he was frigidity and uptight, nervous and speaking
with broken syllables. His shirt was torn out of his pants, he was dazed--somewhat
stoned. I asked "Tom, did you drink tonight?"
"No, No, ..." He kept repeating and looking
in all ...
2 Comments, 395 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
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IS HE GAY? 7/18/2012
I HAVE MESSED WITH STRAIGHT GUYS FOR MOST OF MY LIFE, AND
MANY OF THEM HAVE BROUGHT FRIENDS FOR ME TO ENJOY. ONE NIGHT
TIM BROUGHT JERRY WITH HIM. AFTER WATCHING FOR AWHILE,
JERRY ASKED, "IS HE GAY?". TIM SAID, "NO,
HE'S NOT GAY. IT'S JUST THAT HE FOUND OUT HE LIKES
TO SUCK DICKS."
0 Comments, 361 Views,
15 Votes
,5.73 Score
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He saved her life :-S 4/19/2012
There's these two country type blokes (Men) sitting
down to lunch at this fancy cafe, any way a lady near them
start's to choke on her food, all these people are running
around in a mad panic trying to work out what to do. So without
any fuss one of the country blokes walks over to this lady
, pulles down her pants and lickes the full crack of her arse!
she gets such a shock she spits out ...
1 Comments, 209 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
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How Sweet! 12/2/2011
This happened at Harvard University in October of last
year. In a biology class the professor was discussing the
high glucose levels found in semen which give the sperm
all the energy they need to complete their journey.
A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I
understand you correctly, your saying that there's
a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?"
"That's ...
0 Comments, 277 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
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One Night Wonder? 10/25/2011
The man of your dreams, for now, stands across the room from
you and can't keep his eyes off you. You do your best
to look calm, sexy and sober. He approaches you and you look
around to check he's not heading to some incredibly
chiselled, buff, sexy as all fuck god behind you. In the
meantime, he has stumbled across the room, fought his way
through a throng of unhappy lesbians and pregnant ...
2 Comments, 423 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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if it hurt 1/21/2010
if it hurts its ok , it hurt me tooo , but then i knew the warm
rod would wide my wall an it would all feel so good an it did
, i felt it for days an wanted more
3 Comments, 445 Views,
20 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Margaret and Charles 10/9/2009
An elderly couple, Charles and Margaret, are in California.
Charles always wanted some authentic cowboy boots, seeing
some on sale one day, he buys them. Wears them back to the
house, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says
to his wife
(Charles) "Notice anything different?"
(Margaret) "Nope"
Frustrated Charles storms off into the bathroom, undresses,
and walks back ...
9 Comments, 3047 Views,
83 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Absolutely Funny!!! 10/9/2009
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging
her tiny breasts.
Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower
rub your chest and say, "'Scooby doobie doobies,
I want bigger boobies'."
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked!
She grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic
realized she ...
2 Comments, 306 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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Potato 3/8/2009
POTATO PROSTITUTES
<br>
Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner.
One is a .
<br>
How can you tell which one is the ?
<br>
The one with the label:
<br>
I DA HO.
0 Comments, 284 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
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Nurse Humor 1/27/2009
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after a 20 hour
shift. Oreparring to write a check, she pulls out a rectal therometer
from her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without skipping
a beat she says, "That's great.......that's really great......
some asshole has got my pen.
1 Comments, 245 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
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Best Round of Golf Ever! 12/20/2008
A man was at the country club shooting a round of golf. He
was having a great round, on the first hole he scored a birdie,
on the second hole he managed an eagle and the third hole
was his first ever hole in one.
His cell phone rang and it was a doctor at a local hospital
informing him that his wife had been in a terrible accident
and was in ICU. He told the doctor to tell her where he ...
2 Comments, 214 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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a couple of one liners 9/22/2008
Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
Did you hear about the two gay judges who tried each other?
1 Comments, 222 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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This is my last joke...unless I get a rise from someone 9/5/2008
A farmer ordered a high tech automatic milking machine.
Since it arrived while his wife was away shopping, he thought
he would try it out on himself. He opened it up and slipped
his "Manhood" into the equipment, turned on
the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon he realized that the machine was providing him a lot
more pleasure than his wife ever did. When the fun was over
he found that ...
3 Comments, 405 Views,
13 Votes
,5.66 Score
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An Irish Ballerina 8/30/2008
A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into
a pub in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, harry armpit
as she pointed to all the people at the bar and asked, "what
man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as all the patrons tried to ignore her.
But at the other end of the bar, an owl-eyed old drunk slammed
his hand on the bar and bellowed, "bartender, ...
0 Comments, 103 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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ASSICONS 2/21/2008
We all know tghose cute little computer symbols called
"emoticons", where:  means a smile and  means a frown. Sometimes these are represented by or or  ) or (
Well how about some ASSICONS? HERE GOES;(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
{_!_} A swishy ass ...
2 Comments, 121 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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My wife left me! 2/19/2008
I don't understand, after the last was born,
my wife told me we had to cut back on our expenses, I had to
quit drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a twelve pack on weekends,
but I soon quit anyway. One day, while helping her put away
the groceries, I came across a receipt that was $45 for makeup.
I said, "wait a minute, I've given up beer and
you haven't given up anything yet!" She ...
0 Comments, 196 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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Don't Lie To Your Mother 2/1/2008
A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner, during
the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but
notice how handsome Paul's flat mate, Simon, was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between
the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course
of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flat ...
3 Comments, 190 Views,
10 Votes
,6.57 Score
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Wanna Slip Into Something More Comfortable? 1/18/2008
Cecil and Scott are living together. It was extremely hot
one day and Cecil arrived home to find Scott with his ass
in the freezer.
"Scott! What are you doing with your ass in the freezer?"
Scott replied, "It was so hot outside, I thought you'd
like something cool to slip into!"
1 Comments, 159 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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OK, Maybe You'll Like This One 12/22/2007
A lone cowboy rides into town right off the dusty trail.
He climbs down from his and ties the reins to a hitchin
post. He takes off his hat and slaps his jeans to knock off
the days dust. He then goes to the back of the , raises
his tail and plants a big kiss right on his asshole. A man
standing nearby witnessed this and asked him why in the
hell did he do that. The cowboy told him that he had a ...
1 Comments, 300 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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The Love Story of Ralph and Edna 12/21/2007
because someone doesn't love you the way you want them
to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they
have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming
pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to
the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom
and ...
2 Comments, 164 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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The Italian Golfer! 12/8/2007
An 80 year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a checkup.The
doctor is amazed at what good physical condition he is in
and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
"I'm Italian and I'm a golfer", says
the old guy, "and that's why I stay in such good
shape. I'm up before daylight and get out on the fairways
as soon as it's light. I go up and down the fairways,
come ...
0 Comments, 167 Views,
8 Votes
,6.03 Score
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Two old Ladies 12/2/2007
There was two old ladies doing charity work at a nursing
home. They stepped out back to smoke a cigarette. After
they took a few a few puffs, it started to rain. One lady put
out her cigarette and started to walk in when she saw her
friend pull out a condom from her pocket and then cut the
end off with the sizzors from her other pocket. She then
slid the condom over her cigarette, exposing the ...
1 Comments, 233 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? 11/28/2007
PAGR DOWN FOR ANSWER
S&M&M
0 Comments, 106 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Nair Hair 11/18/2007
My neighbor found out that her little couldn't
hear very well so she took him to the vet. The vet found that
his ears were compacted with excessive hair and removed
the hair and cleaned out his ears. He told the lady that she
could keep this from reoccouring by simply going to the
drug store and buy some Nair hair remover and swab his ears
once a month. The lady went to the drug store and got a ...
0 Comments, 156 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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Road Trip 11/15/2007
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside
restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and
resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses
on the table and she didn't miss them until they had
been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite
a ...
1 Comments, 244 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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What's The Difference??? 11/9/2007
What's the difference between love, true love and
showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling
0 Comments, 144 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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A Quicky! 9/26/2007
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and
a dyslexic?
Someone who stays awake at night wondering if there really
is a dog.
2 Comments, 76 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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A Stinky Pussy 9/10/2007
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight. She was starving, dirty, smelled terrible,
skinny, and hair all matted down.
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her
to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her "Pussycat."
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would
let us know when we ...
1 Comments, 121 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
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sex after circumcision 8/31/2007
Many years ago at age 22 I had a circumcision as an adult which
was very painful and I don't recommend it for others.
Anyway, sex was supposed to be out of the question for 10-12
weeks. After about 8 difficult weeks, my lover and I decided
it was time to try. In the dark, he reached for the KY jelly
in the night stand and grabbed the Ben Gay instead. After
just a few very bried moments ...
2 Comments, 911 Views,
64 Votes
,5.64 Score
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I don't care who you are, this is funny! 8/28/2007
Nymphomaniacs Convention
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled
in, he glanced up to see the most beautiful woman he had ever
seen boarding the plane and was headed right toward him.
As luck would have it, she sat in the seat next to him. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "business
trip or pleasure?" She smiled at him and replied, "business, ...
0 Comments, 183 Views,
10 Votes
,6.37 Score
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Used Rubbers! 8/28/2007
Do you know how to reuse a rubber?? A. You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!
What do you call a with a runny nose? A. Full!
0 Comments, 105 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Preacher Man on his deathbed 7/24/2007
An old preacher man is dieing. he sends a message to his Lawyer and and agent of the Inland
Revenue to come to his house immediatly, for time was short.
As they entered the room, the preacher beckoned them both
to sit on each side of the bed. For a long while nobody said anything. They were both honoured that the man had asked them to be
by his side, but were puzzled because the preacher had ...
0 Comments, 821 Views,
50 Votes
,5.44 Score
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A Famous Mouse 4/22/2007
A well-known cartoon mouse go to head studios to meet with
the Manager, the Producer and a Consultant Psychologist.
The mouse walks into the room and takes a seat.
(Manager) "We have called you here to discuss the results of
your accusations towards your fellow Co-hostess"
(The Prouduce) "Micky, the Doctor here has done a full examination
of Minnie and found nothing to back up what ...
0 Comments, 173 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Italian learning English 3/25/2007
A bus stops, and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage
in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them
ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized
when she hears one of them say the following:
<br>
<br>
<br>
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again.
I come again ...
6 Comments, 1991 Views,
101 Votes
,5.74 Score
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why'd he post that? 3/25/2007
So he could get the free points I think
1 Comments, 248 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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Breast enlargement. 3/24/2007
A small breasted woman says to her husband "I've
seen an advert for breast enlargement, the surgery's
only charging $2000 dollars"
The husband says "Don't be rediculous, we can't
afford that. Why don't you just stuff some toilet tissue
down there"?
She says "That won't make much difference will
it"?
He says "Oh I dunno, it worked on your ass"!
3 Comments, 355 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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Here is a good joke! 12/1/2006
Question:
What is the difference between a , a nymphomaniac
and your wife, while having sex?
<br>
Answer:
<br>
A says:
Aren't you done yet?
<br>
A Nympho says:
Your done allready?
<br>
Your wife says:
Blue, I think i'll paint the ceiling,
Blue!
2 Comments, 504 Views,
29 Votes
,4.54 Score
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Being a Metrosexual could be a Curse! 11/11/2006
Metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with
a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time
and money on his appearance and lifestyle.
—metrosexuality n.
<br>
I suppose I am an urban male with a somewhat strong sense
of aesthetic... I don't like to spend a lot of money
and time on my appearance, but lets face it-- It takes some
$$$ to look good, and it ...
3 Comments, 535 Views,
41 Votes
,5.12 Score
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embarassing time with a guy 6/7/2006
ok me and this guy had chatted for about a month straight.
We finally decided to meet. So he give me his address. We
decide what we are going to do and when.
So i go to his apartment complex only i have written the wrong
apartment number. There is a guy i had sex with 2 time before.
Hes in shock because we met at my place and not his. I'm
in shock thinking the guy i was meeting was this ...
1 Comments, 1027 Views,
29 Votes
,3.14 Score
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WHAT'S IN A NAME? 2/26/2006
I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A GUY NAMED PAUL, AND I COULDN'T
FIGURE WHICH GUY HE WAS, SO AFTER SEVERAL MINUTES OF CURIOSITY,
I FINALLY ASKED HIM TO TELL ME HIS HANDLE.
HE ANSWERED: "HANDLE'S MESSIAH".
1 Comments, 416 Views,
15 Votes
,0.68 Score
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Does nobody have any humor. 12/28/2005
What is it with realtionship humor and people breaking
up because of one person saying something wrong. This has
happened a few times with freinds of mine that just dont
seem to understand the point of humor, life is to fun dont
take it for granted be happy you are in love.
0 Comments, 363 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Love in the Workplace 8/11/2005
I am assuming everyone that reads this article has had a
crazy crush with someone they have worked with. The type
of crush that when he stands next to you, it feels like heaven.
The type of crush that whatever he talks about (even about
poop) is interesting. What to do? We all know that when
we have a crush on someone, our imagination runs wild, and
things come up (literally).
...
2 Comments, 387 Views,
26 Votes
,4.97 Score
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My Friend is an Exhibitionist ! 6/5/2005
I have a friend who has a secret fantasy which involves being
naked in public.
He would love to be kidnapped, stripped naked , or at least
have his pants and underwear pulled down to his ankles , tied
and bound , blindfolded , and gaged, and left in a public
place like a park or a mall parking lot.
<br>
He also wants to have this act of lewdness photograped with
a video camera ...
0 Comments, 403 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
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